I Can’t Stand This Place Anymore

Minnesota is too depressing and cold. 
Why cant God put a bible college in Ohio

I don’t know why he called me so far away, i am so used to everything back home. I would be able to focus more, and be happier as i do his work. Still i don’t work that hard, and my faith in God and relationship has just taken so many steps back recently. Blah i cant stand this! 

 

Life is just so depressing 

Home is warmer, full of family.

WHY!!??

Freakin minnesota, or florida

I am tired

I think it will be OSU for sure now…

Thoughts

Edison Glass – The River

“These dry lips, they search for comfort.
Will I settle for a quick rain or search for the source?
In the rain, life is beautiful… I guess.
I know there’s more, I long for something deeper.”

—So I realized something the other day when i was working out.
When i got down to the gym with a friend of mine, it was very exciting to see all the equipment, along with all the other people. We walked over to a machine, and began to lift…

“Take me to…”

—It was amazing to feel the weight against your body, and the feeling of having so much control over that, my body felt so strong and ready to handle anything. But as time went by, and more force was exerted… it began to get harder, and harder…

“How deep and broad is this communion.
Channel of amazing depth.”

—The once gentle, calm atmosphere became full of stress, aggression, and finally disparity. With all my body crying out in agony! I felt that i just wanted to give into my desire to stop, and give up. But beside me was the encouragement of a friend, with gentle words “You can do it, You got this…” I pulled through, so dirty in sweat, and other dabree that flew out of my mouth. 

Water pulling under me.
I’m not moving, You move me.
I’m ready for this current now.
Take me to the river.

—As the work out came to and end, and we started our climb back to our rooms, i felt a sense of satisfaction. I had overcomed something so powerful in my life. And began to connect the dots

Isnt this usually how real life is?? We get so excited some days , and we feel we are on cloud nine. But as the stress weighs in, and aggression takes over you feel you are at the end of your rope. (I have felt that on SO many occasions, honestly just being in college you feel that mostly everyday.)

But as you hang out, that gentle whisper enters your ear and you can make it. 

Honestly that is all good, but that isn’t the part i look forward too. I mean its great to have satisfaction about doing something hard, and its fun to finally defeat something. But i look forward to the shower after i am done!

Everyone who knows me, knows i love my showers. But just after a hard day at work/school its always good to relax and then hit a comfortable bath/shower.

I will conclude by saying, when life gets hard. When the weights get to heavy and your body is covered in so much crap you feel so gross. Find your comfort in someone that wont leave you. God has always been there for me. Get washed in the renewed power that comes in a relationship, and i promise you..You will make it out

and 
You will be…
STRONGER THAN EVER

Personality

Here is a question to everyone out there, Can your personality (the one that you have worked on creating since birth) be altered by the people that surround you? What (if any) is the specific amount of time it takes someone to conform to the personalities of people around them? 

The Oxford American Dictionary defines Personality as: 1. a. The quality, character, or fact of being a person, as distinct from an animal, thing, or abstraction; the quality which makes a being human. Obs.

 

OR 

My personal favorite definition: c. Existence or identity as a person. Obs.

Lately i have been struggling with a personality problem. I have been going through some Personality/Identity crisis’s the past few months. Being so far from home, at college, and in a new area that is unfamiliar to me I have noticed that i have been picking up on more negative life views, and personality Traits.

I have become more aggressive in everyday tasks, and dealing with others around me. I know its weird, and your wondering why i am bringing this up. 

While i was back home, it was very easy to keep things bottled up in me, and then slowly letting them leak out, but recently its as if i don’t care anymore, and i have just been letting this angry flood on too others around me. 

And its something that i have noticed

The more people that fall away from me that i begin to grow in a friendship, the more aggresive i get.

As i sit here pondering what is going on in my life, and how can i change who i have become i start to think back to my childhood. 

As Children we are taught that we are different for a reason, and since we are different we need to accept it, and be happy with it.

But what about life, turns us around, and makes us want to be everyone else??

Its the peer pressure that changes us, and its the surroundings and people we are put around in our lives that help determine our future self esteem, and personality. 

 

“You are who you hang around with”

You become the people that you let into your center